R.S.F. America

I hope the people shoveling snow in Denver or battling floods and freezing temps in Fargo aren’t as confused as I am. Do they even understand they can’t be having these difficulties? With the earth heating up at a furious pace, what they are experiencing is impossible. Geez, ask Al Gore!

Those mental giants who went sledding off to measure the North Pole’s dwindling ice cap, and had to be saved by fume-belching fossil-fueled airplanes, couldn’t possibly have experienced the arctic cold and blinding snow they thought was threatening their lives. They must have been hallucinating from the heat! Okay, so which one of you kids can spell man-made global warming? Let’s see: H-O-A-X. There’s another way to spell it too: T-Y-R-A-N-N-Y.

You see, any confusion arising here has to do with attempting to address the whimsy of political religion by using the concrete logic of science. It’s the old square peg in a round hole story. Now for the capper: Since there’s not much around these days to feel good about, let’s create something that will give us all a few warm fuzzies. How about a global “Earth Hour“? You know, like making a “wave” at the ballpark!

Yes “Greenies” Saturday night, as 8:30PM hits their time zone, everyone in the world is supposed to turn off all energy consuming devices for one hour — assuming they live in a country that can afford energy consuming devices, like computers, cell phones and lightbulbs. ‘Bama’s brother George in Kenya, for example, may have to visit the neighbors; I don’t think Thomas Edison has visited his block yet.

Am I participating? Oh, you bet! At 8:30 Saturday night, I plan turn on every light, appliance and energy-gulping device in the house, just to see how fast I can make that little black dial spin on the electric meter. I may even start both cars and let them run for an hour or so. Whatever you do is strictly up to you, at least until our morph into The People’s Republik of Amerika is complete. Then, we’ll be taxed into submission and forced to comply like the mindless little ‘Bamabots who actually buy this kind of crap.

At least until then, I have reserved one defiant digit in the center of my left hand for at least partial erection toward these great green gobs of global gullibility — and you know what? Regardless of how any of us respond to this latest “planet-saving” ploy, we’re all still going to have enough juice to burn toast and brew coffee in the morning.

R.S.F.

www.taxdayteaparty.com

Obama is about ice cream. All along, I’ve been wondering what it was that motivated people to give him a pass on everything from a lack of experience to consorting with thugs. A teacher in the Nashville area finally figured it out after observing the behavior of her students. Silly me — while I was busy focusing on ‘the cow’, I should have been thinking about the cream!

Back when the national election was heating up some of the kids in her third grade class showed a real interest in politics, so she decided to have an election for class president. Little did she know who would actually learn the civics lesson.

To keep it simple class members would choose their candidates, who would then make a campaign speech, and the class would vote. They discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have and several nominations were offered. From those nominated, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids, although Jamie might have had an advantage because of strong parental support. Olivia remained an unknown quantity. The day finally arrived when they were to make their speeches and Jamie went first.

He had several specific ideas about how to make their class a better place and enumerated them in detail. He closed by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded. Jamie sat down and Olivia came to the podium.

Her speech was concise. All she said was, “If you vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down. The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.” She surely could have said more but she didn’t have to.

A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it? She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream. Jamie was forgotten and Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and fifty-two percent of the people reacted like nine year olds — they wanted ice cream. Meanwhile, the other forty-eight percent of us are now going to have to feed ‘the cow’ and clean up the mess.

Maybe the multi-trillion dollar spending bill only looks like pork; maybe it’s really another dairy product. Anybody have a shovel?

R.S.F.

At last the circus that passed for an Olympic Games is over. The hastily constructed venues will eventually collapse and, just maybe, many of the thousands, who were “relocated” during preparation, can return to the areas they once called home.

I’m happy to say that I wasted no more time watching than necessary to confirm my original suspicions as to what the event would be about. I had no interest in witnessing the facade attempting to cover the deception and iron-fisted control of a government that has about as much regard for freedom and human rights as a squeegee has for a bug on a windshield.

Modern Olympics have always operated in the shadow of corruption and political agendas but rarely so blatantly as the shameless display witnessed on this occasion. Throughout the Games, stories trickled out of jailed dissidents, banned websites and curiously empty protest zones. Questions about China’s continuing political repression hovered constantly in the background. The affair became a show of glitz and glamour for the locals, with stringent visa regulations limiting the influx of foreign tourists.

Beijing residents, who were always up to date on the medal count, often became agitated when the foreign press raised questions as to whether several medal-winning Chinese gymnasts might be underage. Polite applause for foreign competitors occasionally degenerated into boos or, just as bad, half-empty stadiums…this despite vows that all Olympic tickets had been sold. By the end of the Closing Ceremony one thing had become clear: The world may have been invited to watch Beijing 2008 but this was China’s Games; everyone else was just a bystander…not because the Chinese athletes performed so well but because their government performed so badly.

What happened to the concept of international competition among the best amateur athletes in the world? Sporting events are about more than just taking center stage; neither the spectators or the athletes had the slightest idea of how to conduct themselves. They seemed to mirror the attitude of their government which insulted the very spirit of The Olympics before The Games even began.

I salute the performances of our incredible American athletes and seriously talented competitors from all other countries who competed in the spirit of true Olympians. I look forward to the next event four years hence with hope that the disease incubated in China does not become contagious.

R.S.F.