What is it with political candidates trying to convince voters they’re ‘buff’ athletes? No-score and four years ago, John Kerry dressed up like Elmer Fudd staging a photo-op as he emerged from some woods, swaggering like he’d just bagged Bambi [now it's Miller Time]!
The other day, Barack Hussein Obama tried to impress the cameras by having a go at bowling during a campaign stop in Altoona, PA. As it turns out, the only thing athletic about ‘Mr. Thunderball’ were his feet. He bowled a thirty-seven! Lem’me see, maybe it’ll sound better if I say it another way. Barry bowled a 37! Nope. Same difference. I’ve seen toddlers down on both knees push the ball with two hands and get a higher score than that.
Keenly sensing an apparent weakness in her opponent, Hillary sought to defend any remnants of the good Clinton name by playing ‘Jock-ette’ and challenged The Wrong Reverend Wright’s disciple to a bowling match. Fortunately for her she didn’t opt for anything like a winner-take-all scenario; a few days later her fatal flaw gene kicked in on the Ellen Degenerate show, as she attempted to flex her own athletic muscle. Toeing the line of a makeshift on-stage alley, in two attempts she managed to knock down only one pin! Projected as a possible game average it would mean that Billary would have bowled a ten. Lem’me see, maybe it’ll sound better if…oh, never mind.
Anyway, if you’re sports fan and hungry for statistics in lieu of action, the point could be made that Obama crushed Clinton 37 to 10. In football you could even call it a bragging right. In bowling…let’s just say that John McCain probably played the headiest game of all, just sticking with the bloodsport of politics and vowing to keep his campaign clear of back alleys. Speaking of such things, even though Barack is a ’southpaw’ and Hillary is a ‘righty’, I have it on pretty good authority that gutterballs launched by both candidates continually spun to the left.
R.S.F.
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