Between trash like the ‘planted’ photo of Obama sporting African togs, Hillary’s “celestial choirs” performance mocking Barack’s flowery speeches and John McCain actually apologizing for a subordinate’s use of “Hussein” as part of Barry O’s [rightful] name, I’ve finally had it with the petty bullslick that now dominates politics. I feel like I’ve time-warped back to kindergarten and should be penning my blog in finger paints! Each candidate is sufficiently flawed to invite attack upon his/her record, or lack thereof, on its own merit without resorting to stupid, juvenile tactics to appeal to a certain segment of stupid, juvenile voters.
With rumors still rampant about New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg getting into the fray and Al Gore waiting in the wings, should the Billary-Barack brouhaha not be settled before the Democrat Convention, it has occurred to me that it is still not too late for newcomers to seek the presidential nod. So when Murray appeared hat in hand on my doorstep, asking if I’d let the world know of his desire to lead America into the future, I looked at the current crop of candidates and thought, “What the heck?” which just happens to be his campaign slogan.
As I listened to his point of view I realized that Murray is no worse than any of the other existing choices. In fact, he might even be a breath of fresh air since he is not beholden to anyone for anything, except his bookie…and Sal says he’d be happy to wait until after the election to collect. A regular working shlub, Murray’s passion as a Moderate Conservative Progressive (M.C.P.) was evident as he choked back tears and outlined his beliefs:
- Peace through reluctance
- Negotiation from a standpoint of absurdity
- Appearing on as many sides of as many issues as possible
- Governing through reactive indecision
- Reaching across the aisle with your feet so as not to sully your hands
- Appointing Justices for a term of someone else’s life
- Wine as an alternative energy source
- Eliminating carbon footprints by wiping your feet before you come in
- Creative anarchy as a gradual form of government change
- Building a fence out of illegal immigrants to keep out the terrorists
- Gibberish as the official language of America
- A woman’s right to choose based upon her silverware pattern
- Life, liberty and the pursuit of someone named Stella
- A foreign policy with New York Life
- Medical Care for all farm animals but no subsidies for big farming
- No wiretapping. It’s too dangerous unless you wear special shoes and the wire is strung very low
One of my biggest gripes has been that everyone talks about so many grand programs but nobody says how they’ll pay for them. When I asked Murray I received a direct answer: He said he’d sell his watch. It’s a start and he’s not talking about raising taxes! By the way, Murray is available and looking for a potential First Lady.
Up to now I’ve avoided endorsing a candidate because of the critical nature of this year’s election but with the muck and mire being generated by the existing campaign circus, I’m beginning to lean toward Murray. “What the heck”…right now he makes about as much sense as anyone.
R.S.F.
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