At a time when presidential politics, the war in Iraq and harassment of our navy by Iranian speedboats dominate the headlines, I’d like to address some really important issues that stick in my ‘craw’ the way bubblegum sticks in a beard or peanut butter to almost anything.
First, let me congratulate the underrated New York Football Giants on whipping the overrated Dallas Cowboys and securing a berth in the NFC championship game next Sunday. For me this was a miracle of major proportions; I’ve been watching the Giants invent newer and more creative ways give away games to their opponents for more years than I care to admit. Hopefully, it also heralds the coming of age for Archie Manning’s (former QB New Orleans Saints) son Eli who, until a few weeks ago, couldn’t even hold on to the football much less throw it with any authority. How proud ‘The Arch’ must have been to have both of his sons quarterbacking in both playoff games yesterday. The only thing that could have made him walk even taller would have been if they both had won…but .500 is a pretty good average when you’re raising kids to be star athletes.
Now for the griping. This weekend, I was watching a series of commercials and noticed there was a football game in progress. It must have been ‘my day’ because it happened to be the [Giant's vs. Dallas] game I had been looking forward to seeing all week. There was a time I enjoyed Dallas games even more because of the Cowboys’ Cheerleaders. You don’t have to be a Dallas fan to be sensitive enough to appreciate creamy complexions and jiggling flesh. But they don’t show as many shots of these talented, hard-working young ladies as they used to. It seems some network executives were forced to cave in to the goody-two-shoes element in the Texas legislature who thought the girls’ costumes were too skimpy and they were showing too much skin. The lawmakers seemed particularly upset because the girl’s belly buttons showed! It’s not like we’ve never seen one before. I mean, we all have one, don’t we? One belly equals one button. It’s pretty universal and comes as standard equipment on most infants. Anyway, now it seems like every time they take a shot of the Dallas Debs, they splash some huge promotional graphic across three-quarters of the screen obliterating everything but the healthy American male imagination. Which would you rather see…endless replays to determine whether or not the officials were doing their jobs or Jello on springs, smiling broadly and shaking a pair of pom-poms?
As we anticipate the Michigan primary this week, more news about the Iranians begging to be blown out of the water by our Navy and wait for the Liberal media to provide some actual coverage of dramatic new military and political success in Iraq…let us also remember the important stuff of life. 36-24-36…hut-hut-hut!
By the way, where else but in Texas would they build a domed stadium and leave a hole in the roof?
R.S.F.
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