As I cruised down the Interstate in my Mustang 5 speed, V-6 convertible doing my usual 200 MPH, I nearly ran over a little yellow roller skate called a Chevy Oblivion or something like that. The rear deck was plastered with just about every sticker and decal ever printed about the global warming hoax or about saving one thing or another. This tiny rolling road hazard loped along at a sporting 55 MPH in the center lane and was being dusted, on both sides, by everything but the dead squirrel straddling the white line.
When you pass a bad accident, you know how you just have to look…even though you don’t really want to? That’s the way I felt about this guy. I had to see who was driving. As I slowed alongside, sure enough there he was…chin held high, big dopey grin, arm styled on the door sill, doing his part for the global environment. I had to wonder whether he plugged this thing in or just peddled faster when he needed power.
A few days later I was watching the baseball playoffs and voila! There it was! The roller skate was in a commercial on my very own television, with some politically correct character explaining to a bunch of ethnically-balanced kids that this little carnival ride actually goes 34 miles on a gallon of gas. Wow, nearly 3 MPG more than I get with my ‘Stang and I can go zero to 60 in about 7 seconds, laying rubber in the first 3 gears if I’m so inclined. What’s more, I can do it feeling comfortable, looking sharp, enjoying greater safety and for only a few dollars more than the purchase price they were quoting for the skimpy little planet saver. But almost 3 MPG more! How could I be so selfish as to actually place common sense above common good? Gee, come to think of it, I’m still using regular lightbulbs!
I wonder if Al Gore actually realized his misinformation campaign would impact people’s lives to such crazy, dangerous extent when he first launched it. Now that the world’s most proficient liar is sharing The Nobel Peace Prize with the world’s most corrupt organization, will he springboard from his new found notoriety into the 2008 presidential campaign, as I’ve discussed in past posts? Or will he be content to continue getting rich on the backs of little ‘green’ goobers who drive tiny toy cars because they fail to grasp their own cosmic insignificance? Gore now joins Carter, Arafat and a host of other incompetents, thugs and petty dictators who received the same prize, thereby further diminishing it to the stature of an award for “Best Hockey Player In Southern Ecuador”.
When Alfred Nobel endowed the Nobel Peace Prize, he instructed that it go “to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.” Al Gore has done exactly none of those things. The fact is, last Friday the prize was handed to him and two days before, a British judge ruled that Gore’s film, “An Inconvenient Truth,” contained so many errors (read: lies) that it could be shown in British public schools only if accompanied by a fact sheet correcting the errors.
No, we don’t need to start eating kangaroos because of excess cow flatulence. It has graced our atmosphere for a long time and no-one is gasping for breath just yet. Neither does some bureaucratic agency need to tell us what kind of lightbulbs to use or how much toilet paper we’re allowed for personal use. Less is not more, less is less…no matter what some politician, prize committee or two bit actor says. Because the lemmings are sprinting toward the sea, doesn’t mean we have to slip into our own tennies and head for the water’s edge. We don’t need a bunch of Marxist Liberals dictating what’s best for us on one hand, while they steal more of our liberty with the other.
The tiny highway hazard I encountered displayed one particularly inane sticker which read, “Father God Created Mother Earth”… to which I must hasten to add, “And Together They Created Some Really Scary Children.” Remember, it’s not your tailpipe or some bovine in Kansas but the sun which warms the earth. We don’t need to return to the dark ages or drive a bad joke, yellow or otherwise, to be a friend to the environment. Keeping things clean is common sense; denying natural events in the name of ‘bein’ green’ is pure politics.
R.S.F.
0 Responses to “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green”