I think I’ve got it! After listening to the jokers who can’t get tomorrow’s weather right try to make global predictions 100 years hence, and giving the subject way more thought than it deserves, I believe I have the perfect solution to the global warming issue. Follow this closely. It’s based upon a scientific approach rather than a political one.
First, let’s review a few facts. The sun is a large ball of fire. Fire produces heat, right? Heat from the sun warms the Earth. Throughout history, there have been several volcanic eruptions which have filled the atmosphere with sufficient ash and pollutants so as to prevent a portion of the sun’s heat from reaching the earth’s surface. This resulted in worldwide cooling of .3 C to .5 C degrees within a matter of months. According to the on-line Wikipedia:
“Substantial amounts of stratospheric injection can have global effects: after Mount Pinatubo erupted in 1991, global temperatures dropped by about 0.5°C. The largest eruptions are thought to cause drops of up to several degrees, and are potentially the cause of some of the known mass extinctions.“
Other natural phenomena throughout earth’s evolution, such as giant meteor impacts, have kicked up enough dust to produce similar results. If diluting sunlight in this manner cools the earth, one must conclude that allowing more sunlight to reach the earth’s surface would warm it. Ergo, it seems reasonable to assume that if we all go “green” and reduce our collective carbon footprint, the resulting clear atmosphere will create the very global warming effect we’re trying to prevent!
As a concerned citizen of the world, I have decided to do my part for the environment by increasing my carbon footprint to the largest size possible. For the good of the planet, I suggest you join me and do the same. Use more powerful incandescent lightbulbs and leave a number of lights on constantly to drain the maximum amount of energy. Keep your air conditioning below 70 degrees (F) in summer and run your heat well above 72 (F) in winter. It may become expensive but how do you put a price on saving the environment? Drive the largest S.U.V. you can afford, use only public transportation that burns fossil fuels and encourage your congressmen to pass legislation rescinding requirements for filtering airborne wastes belched by chemical and manufacturing facilities. Be creative! If we work together and adequately foul the atmosphere, we can cool the planet by at least 1/2 degree (C) in a few short years and save mankind from all the advertised ravages of global warming, which the Liberal Left has finally convinced me is threatening our future.
Increasing our carbon footprints even slightly from, say, a 9-1/2 D to a size 10 EEE would mean that Polar Bears can keep their fur coats, our coastal cities won’t need to sandbag their shore lines, Greenland won’t turn green after all and the kooks and nutjobs who are polluting our ears with their politically targeted tripe can stop their global whining.
Hey…my theory is as sound as theirs, right?
R.S.F.
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