R.S.F. America

There has been an ongoing debate about the Global War On Terror, including whether or not it actually exists, even after the devastation of 9/11. Many people I’ve spoken with seem genuinely confused. Therefore, I thought a pop quiz might be just the thing to check your grasp of real world circumstances and their affect upon your general well being. Have a pencil with a big eraser handy so you can jot down your answers. There is no time limit.

A. The surrender resolution passed by The House yesterday is good for America because

1. If we leave Iraq soon enough, we won’t have to go all the way to The Middle East to fight terrorists
2. It shows the Islamo-Nazis that we’re really ‘nice guys’ and maybe they’ll stop being mad at us
3. The war is only a bumper sticker slogan and we can save a lot of trees by printing fewer stickers
4. All of the above
5. None of the above

B. Why should we sit down and talk with the terrorists?

1. They’re actually a lot like poor, mischievous kids and are only in need of a little understanding
2. All they want is indoor plumbing like we have and we can give them some
3. They strongly support the Democrat Party and think Hillary is “peachy keen” in her pink pants suit
4. They’re only kidding about nuking us and we can show them peaceful uses for atomic energy
5. We shouldn’t, they view it as weakness

C. John Edwards is a danger to national security because

1. The hair from his $1200 haircuts is going to clog up our drains and cause flooding
2. He’s a covert slip ‘n fall lawyer with secret plans to sue the entire country
3. A bunch of Sand Devils with a twisted idea of “God’s Will” wants to murder us and Edwards doesn’t get it
4. All of the above
5. None of the above

D. Harry Reid supports our troops by

1. Calling them incompetent and telling them the war is already lost
2. Being determined to get out of Iraq, even if it means losing a couple of American cities
3. Placing self above country and never losing sight of his party’s quest for power at any price
4. All of the above
5. None of the above

E. If you see someone engaging in suspicious activity you should

1. Run like the wind and say nothing to anyone
2. Confront the individual directly and dare him to try something while you’re standing there
3. Notify the authorities immediately
4. Shout, “Fire!” so people will scatter to safety
5. Call your insurance agent to see if the company covers this sort of thing

F. Why would Hillary make a good Commander In Chief?

1. She is a European Socialist and could apply Stalinist principles both at home and abroad
2. Being a woman, Middle Eastern dictators would tremble at her every utterance
3. She has Clinton White House experience and knows how to ignore a problem when she sees one
4. She wouldn’t, she’s dangerous
5. Because she can change opinions so quickly, the enemy would have trouble pinning her down in a negotiation

G. Put the people who can cause the most harm to America in the proper order (List from most harm to least)

1. Terrorists
2. Hillary Clinton
3. Pluto
4. Barak Obama
5. Harry Reid

Here are the correct answers: A=1, B=5, C=3, D=4, E=3, F=4, G=Hillary Clinton, Barak Obama, Terrorists, Harry Reid, Pluto. You may not agree with all of my answers but they’re the ones I was looking for, and it’s my blog. How did you do? If you missed any of them, take a giant step to the left. If you missed more than one, take two steps. If you missed them all, run for Congress!

R.S.F.